When you've caught him, detain him as best you can, he's likely to resist!
While he's still struggling, check out any possibilities that present themselves.
When he's calmer, you can experiment with the restraint arrangements.
It could be quite entertaining if you're lucky
Tell him about improving his life with yoga, zen and contemplation.
He'll probably react with apathy of course.
Don't worry, just tell him he must contemplate his misdeeds.
While viewing the problem from the best angles.
Then when you're happy, tie him up tight.
Very tight.
(in the Lotus position, naturally)
After that you can probably do with a double G&T!
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