Targeted - Collar and Tie

 

Dave and Sam normally spent New Year in front of the TV.

They reckoned it was the best way to enjoy all the fireworks.

But this year they got a surprise, personal invitation to a private party.

It came from 'John', but they could guess which John it was.

The black dress code was a slightly daunting to Sam, 

but Dave, who mixed in classy circles, was perfectly relaxed.

Plus, there was to be a spectacular display at midnight.

So they thought, Why Not?  Enjoy the change. 

Something out of their comfort zone, you might say.

The venue was already busy with guests when they arrived.

They didn't spot John amongst the crowd but  

they were immediately offered free drinks and food,

so they were soon enjoying the party atmosphere.

 

About half past eleven, anticipation and excitement was rising.

Dave and Sam were both feeling distinctly mellow.

Then someone called for silence, he had an announcement to make.

He asked for the Guests of Honour to come to the stage. 

 

Dave and Sam discovered it was they who were the Guests of Honour,

a group of burly men closed in and frog-marched them to the front.

Gazing out at the crowd, they realised they were all dressed in black leather.

But any feeling of being over-dressed was quickly taken away from them.

In fact, all their clothes were taken away from them, by muscular attendants.

They weren't exactly in good shape to resist, but tried their best.

The crowd appreciated their efforts and wild cheering broke out

as they were buckled into wrist suspension bars and their arms hoisted high.

 

In a final dramatic gesture, their attackers removed their underwear.

Sam cursed loudly as his new, Christmas, designer briefs were cut open.  

It was little consolation when they were replaced by soiled jock straps

 donated by audience members in the front row, their pouches still warm.

Thanking the donors, the MC reminded them of the Charity Auction

which would enable them to recover their property (with added interest!)

The front row audibly dissented, convinced that some rich bastard

would inevitably carry off the star prizes to some distant part of the globe.

'Big Ben' was invited to come to the stage to 'officiate' the midnight rites

The Guests of Honour would lead the count-down to the strokes of midnight.

That's 12 strokes each of course, he cackled, to uproarious laughter.

'Black Jack' was summoned to be his assistant and synchronise

Dave just had time to apologise to Sam before Big Ben gagged them both

So that they might bear the ritual strokes safely and with dignity.

Their only consolation was to be in the front row for the 'fireworks'.

But in all honesty, it would probably have been better on the TV at home.

 

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