Art by Catweazle - 3

Young men seeking to be famous heroes sometimes discover, all too soon, 

that glorious deeds are not to be their lot in life.

Catweazle - Chained Hero In Danger 11

"No! They can't kill me! Not on my first mission!"

That was Jerry's final thought as his quest to rescue his brother from the Orcs

ended ignominiously on the very first day.

Catweazle - Jurassic World 06

"Yeah! Let's be 'aving you!"

These men all set out with the best of intentions, with lovingly cultivated physiques

and bags of enthusiasm, imagining that was all they needed to succeed.

Catweazle - Captured Hero 01

"Got you, my fine beauty!"

Not realising that there would be forest dwellers out there that don't want to fight and kill.

They love to collect fine, human specimens, using guile and magic to snare their game intact.

Catweazle - Roman Warrior v Worm 2-3

"Aaaargh! What a dirty trick! Not fair!"

Lucius set out to slay the creature that was killing his army comrades, wearing nothing but a shiny, steel pouch. He felt sexy and heroic, never imagining that the hunter could be hunted too. Nor that the creature would flout the rules of combat by attacking him from behind. It snatched him up, crushing his ribs in a ferocious grip. As he formulated his escape strategy, he felt it bite deep into his back. 

Catweazle - Cage Wrestling

"It's so tight!"

Even when the cherished dream of valiant, face to face, hand to hand combat can quickly sour.

The iron grip of an Orc is escapable and soon starts to hurt. A lot. And they smell awful too.

Catweazle - Sword and Sorcerer Contest 0608

"I didn't know it had spines"

Wriggling out of entwining tentacles is not so easy 

when they have bony spines that have already dug into your flesh.

Catweazle - Ruined Castle

"Come back and fight, you coward!"

It's humbling and humiliating when a hero's brain tells him to 'cut and run' 

Preserving his precious hide but making a mockery of his muscled image.

Catweazle - Hunk In Danger

"Gulp. How did it do that?"

Bitter still is the pill when escape and cowardly survival seems assured,

only for the opponent to produce the unexpected.

Catweazle - Water Monster Fight

"I'm gonna drown before I even get close!"

Fighting a creature in it's own environment is the epitome of bravery.

But many the hero realises with a sinking feeling that it's also the depths of foolishness.

Catweazle - Fight With The Snakes 2

"I didn't realise they hunt in packs!"

Against a lesser opponent, a careless stumble is all it takes to level the odds.

The creatures of the forest will show no mercy to a fallen beast.

Catweazle - Osher vs Ork (sic)

"Puny human - die!"

Past successes, fighting humans in the Arena breed false confidence.

An Orc champion can despatch a budding hero quickly and suddenly.

Catweazle - Minotaurus Victor

"What fools these humans are!"

So many of these gallant adventurers discovered too late

That a beautiful body and a sexy outfit cut no ice with a beast.

Catweazle - Dariuzs and the Sea Dragon

"If it closes it's mouth I'm done for!"

At least death in combat is better than the ignominy of being carried off helpless.

Destined to be a predator's next meal, consumed at leisure in it's lair.

Catweazle - Dead Hero Cart 01

"Heh, heh, more fertiliser for my crops"

Worst of all, is the fate of becoming just another failed hero, 

one of many who sallied forth and simply disappeared, 

and were soon forgotten by those who waved them off.

~

Read this full series from Catweazle Part 1

with links to his gallery