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Thursday 18 October 2018

Gotta get a hoss! - 1 The Big Boys

A Cowboy without a horse is a sad state of affairs.
A Cowboy with a Saddle but no horse is ripe for some good old leg-pulling.
and what better way to punish transgressions of the cowboy code 
than to send the offender off on a horse-less ride?

Kurt Kittridge (Colt)
Kurt Kittridge illustrates the general principles of the joke in this image from Colt Studios.
Minimal clothing is permitted, on a hot day a hat is advisable.
Victims must ride hard enough to work up a sweat
and christen the saddle with other bodily fluids in the process.
For a muscular man like this, it's a humiliating farce
But making rude hand gestures to the mocking ranch hands
will only only encourage them to do their worst.


This man is equally big and butch, but his response is more dignified,
aloof even, above it all, as he concentrates, rising to the challenge
The saddle here is balanced precariously on the top rail of a fence
so everyone can get a good view of him
- especially if he loses his balance and falls off 

Randy Ricks - 4 Horsemen
It's best to seat oneself carefully on the saddle,
 jokers sometimes 'spike' it with small burrs or thorns.
That can turn the ride into a traumatic experience,
 a humiliation for even the toughest of frontiersmen!


The best response is probably to look as though you're enjoying it all
 and keep your ass in the air just in case
But that's not without risk either, since gleaming, wiggling,chunky buns
have been known to trigger a 'gold rush' in sex-starved, cowboy communities 


If the saddle is set up in a remote corner of the yard like thisthe cowboy knows he's really in trouble
With the saddle so close to the ground and facing into the corner he can't perform the necessary riding action without raising his backside and providing the most enticing of displays to the watching men.

He's big enough to look after himself but they have lust and numbers on their side 
and plentiful supplies of rope!
 ~
Part 2 features the ranch novices

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